Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize