His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
