I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
