Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
