The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
