i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
