yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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