Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you will always have a special place in my vag
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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