there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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