i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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