WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Vodka?
Forever.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
