I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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