Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I have aggressive nipples.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
