is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
