She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Houston, we have a blender
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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