It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Randomize
