idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
