If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
