over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
