great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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