Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize