I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
