imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
