I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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