If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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