Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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