i don't like sucking hair
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Lo siento on account of my penis...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
