Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize