It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
