I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
