Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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