That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
