I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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