it wasn't lemon gatorade
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
