She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
