Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
this boner is exhausting
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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