I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize