playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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