ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
