There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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