Acid is not a monday night drug
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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