I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize