mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We're too hungover to prance.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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