I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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