1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
