When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Sorry about my life...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
