Small penises have feelings too.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
