Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
