shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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