I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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