If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I forget how to act sober
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
