I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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