He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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