in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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