Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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