I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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