areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
