why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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