so explain again why im purple
no
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
